I posted this to my personal friends and family on Facebook. So I thought I would log back in to my Tumblr and share with you fine people…
New Years Resolutions?
I Don’t Think So.
I don’t post about my life or my feelings. I’m a private person and I want to keep it that way but for a moment, I’ll draw back the curtains.
Now that 2013 comes to a close I’m left with a very sobering realization: We live in a time of slothfulness and negativity. Somewhere along the way, we lost sight on what it is to do our best.
Why aren’t we excited about anything anymore? Why do we expect great things to happen to us without actually doing any hard work? When did being passionate about something become frowned upon?
It’s so “cool” to not care, that people consistently put others down for being excited about something they want to achieve.
Everyone is so concerned with being “real” these days that they often confuse it with cynicism.
Perhaps I’m just realizing faults in myself and I figure others have experienced something similar.
2013 was one of my worst years. I was fired off a project because I wasn’t funny enough and the lead actress just “didn’t like me.” I gained 10 lbs. I worked on a movie I’m ashamed to say will never see the light of day. My friends moved out and I was left in a “Quarter Life Crisis.”
I was diagnosed with Atypical Depression and the honey moon phase of living on my own had finally caught up with me and the realization that my life is happening before my eyes hit me like a random stranger walking up and punching me in the face. (Which literally happened to me this December, heavily scaring my face.)
However the year had it’s redeeming moments. I was able to fulfill a dream, to backpack across Europe, go to Hawaii and I befriended some of the best people I’ve ever known as well as reconciled lost friendships.
I’m nearly 25 and I haven’t accomplished goals that I set for myself when I was 15. There’s no excuse did that. You get complacent and content, then look what happens. I realized that no one else is going to help me but myself. I have to be my own boot to kick my own ass.
I never make goals for the New Year because I’ve figured “What’s the point?” But I’m tired of feeling that way.
I will finish my projects and put them all into preproduction.
I will have that body that I have always wanted.
I will see the people who enrich my life and make me happy.
I will see my father and my grandparents.
I will learn to ride a motorcycle.
I will go on more adventures.
I will play the guitar more.
I will buy a new place closer to Hollywood.
I will finally get a new car.
I will prove to everyone who pushed me down that I am worth more alive than dead.
I will let no one stand in my way.
In a time of turmoil, depression and cynicism, I vow that am going to change my life and fulfill my goals. Starting now.
I have one life and I’m going to live, until I die.